yellow, orange and red. red. red.

Triple Venti Decaf Sugar-Free Vanilla Soy Latte - how's that for pretentiousness?

red leaves
yellow leaves
orange leaves
fall is here
fall is here.

i can smell it
my dog can smell it
'a change is gonna come'
her sense of smell
is her highest
most enhanced sense
the one
that guides her
most heavy of decisions

eeney
meany
miney
moe
catch
a tiger
by the
toe

if he
holler's
let him
go
eeney
meany
miney
moe

out of my mouth
comes pouring out like honey
my sad stories
sometimes i think they're gone
buried
under a mountain
of happiness
and a lifetime
of sunshine

and then there they are
literally
the words
jumping out of my heart
onto an innocent
bystander
and they are caught
like frightened drivers
on an old dirt road
they don't know
how to stop the bleeding
they can't
identify
which bones are broken
or where my other
shoe went

"Sharon, turn the lights on HIGH BEAM so that i can see!"

but there is nothing to see
my injury
runs deep
as deep as
anything that has ever run deep
running
anywhere

words that are not
strangers to my mouth are
as follows:
rape
abuse
dysfunctional family members
manipulation
lies
broken promises
step-father
tragic accident
being a granddaughter widow of a living grandfather
alcoholism
drug abuse

and i am not the exception
everyone that i know
has a story
or
fifty
just like mine
difference is
they don't feel the need
to share

It's a story as common as a penny, son
It ain't really worth anything to anyone

Poor little sore little song
That aches like a muscle each time that it moves
Sad little song that you play
And you play and you play
And you play 'til you lose
While history is outside writing a recipe book
For every earthly pain
This song is inside finger painting dark swirls
Again and again and they all look the same 

~ Old Old Song - Ani DiFranco

i wonder why i do
i wonder if one
day i will just put them down
and find my hands free

that's the goal
that's the light

and until i get there
i'll take my
Triple Venti Decaf Sugar-Free Vanilla Soy Latte
that's what'll do it for today
that
and
love.

all the love that
you can throw at this ol' gal